Marriage is truly the most beautiful thing in the world, its where new life begins, family lineages continue, most importantly it is the snap shot picture of Christ love for the church. The union of Man and Woman is one of God's greatest gifts to mankind. But getting to marriage is the part that no one likes to talk about. LOVE (the way God intended it to be) is the glue that holds it together. How do we know this? Well because of Christ LOVE for the church we gained eternal life, it was the love for the church that caused him to have compassion and lay down his life for the entire world. If marriage is a snap shot picture of that then thats the GLUE that holds it together. LOVING is more than I paid for dinner, or I cooked, or I cleaned, or helped you pay a bill, that is good way of showing love but its also I accept you even though I dont always like your atttitude, or I accept you even though you have some ways about you that get on my last nerve. More importantly when you do things that hurt my feelings I still love you (agape-unconditionally). Love for believers is not based off of looks, nifty little things you can do rather it is soley based on the person. Even though you make me mad sometimes, you always put up with me, you help me when I wont help myself, you encourage me, you talk to me late at night until you fall asleep, you include me in your life, you do what a spouse should do you have my back! If your not married well sex should not even be an issue(just a disclaimer). 1 Corinthians 13:5 "Love does not take into account wrong suffered". Simply means that all the stuff you did that was wrong towards me I cant use that against you. I have to let it go and move on. The road to marriage is a hard one and requires God's hand the whole way. One of the reasons we date is to so that we can make decisions about the person we are with. If this person is someone you just cannot deal with, they are just too much for you, then you walk away, so your not waisting anyone elses time. The key is to know that you can change no one, the negative things in people are part of who they are, its God who makes the change and uses it for his glory. When you try to change that person it creates friction. When God makes change it happens naturally in accordance with his will. So the thing is learning to accept those flaws, that doesent mean it stays the same but you accept it and no longer use it against that perosn. If this is a Godly relationship commited to God's ways and commands, then both parties are equally vested in growing in him. So as your growing in God the old things come off and the new's things take root. Change takes time and patience and TRUST in God. If you believe the person your with is indeed the one he has for you to marry than your trusting in him the whole time for that person and the growth with that person. MEN! We cant be so sensitive all the time, because we know women love talking especially to us about life in general, somethings they say can seem mean or just rude, but 9 times out of 10 they are just talking. Women are going to be honest with us about little things, how we dress, our hair if its not cut, when we picking up weight, sometimes thats just caring and you gotta not be so quick to get mad and go off. 1 Peter 3:7 says this "7(A)You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with (B)someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered." What we struggle the most with men is understanding. Understanding her point of view is crucial, listening to the need she may have, or just understanding that she does not think like you and is not you, so what you get mad about she may not get mad about. The key is to understand that you are two different people coming together to be one. Before you can be one there has to be an understanding of each other's ways and learning to accept them in spite of those ways. When you learn to put your pride aside and accept her for her it will take stress and frustration out of your life. Women!! society makes women seem like they have to be everything the man wants and if she is not then she is no prize..but 1 Peter 3:1-4 says something vastly different. " 1(A)In the same way, you wives, (B)be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be (C)won without a word by the behavior of their wives,
2as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.
3(D)Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses;
4but let it be (E)the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God." The key verses here are 3 and 4. Talking about her inner beauty and outer. The inner is most precious because it is the prize that only a man truly in Love with God first can capture because God will lead him. Beloved women, your beauty is in your wisdom, your nurturing, your insight, your hard work, you ability to stand by yourself without a man. You see God knowing who we are as men gave us a companion that is gentler and softer so that there is a balance. Now more than ever we see women running church's and leaders in church because man wont step up. The beauty in a women is that a gentle soft tongue has more influence than we can imagine. What will calm a man down when he is angry is a woman who has peace, and he will see her and say what am I doing? Sometimes saying nothing as I have seen makes a man have to think and be sensible for himself so he will have to be a man about it. But more importantly the honor in women is pleasing to God, a virtuous women is full of honor and she will not accept anything less than that in a man. You see society created this battle of the sexes between men and women.What we see more commonly these days is that men and women are battling with each other, like its a fight to the death. When men become more understanding and also submitt and women do the same as God intends there is peace and harmony. Where there is peace there is rational thinking so as to eliminate pointless arguments. So before you ask someone to marry you men, weigh your options and see if this is really what you want, before you say yes women do the same but above all if this person does not want Christ or be yoked to someone who has Christ than you have your answer. If you truly LOVE the way God wants it to be, then I heard a friend P.T. Ngwolo say "you sacrifice the best in you, for the worst in another person". At Ebenezer Praise and Worship Church they said it like this " you dont marry the person you love, you love the person you marry" (big difference). Maybe this gave new hope to a relationship on its last wheel, or maybe it gave insight on someone getting ready to make a huge mistake. All in all motives have to be right, and Godly LOVE has to be the glue! Fall in Love with Jesus first, and the rest is done. Just talkin...
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