Wax On, Wax Off

I know it seems like I am really into movies involving martial arts but generally some good metaphors come out of these movies. I wonder do you remember a movie called "The Karate Kid". (the orginial one with Ralph Macchio and Pat Morito) The main chacter was "Daniel" or "Daniel-son" who was the pupil of an immigrant from Okinawa named Mr. Miyagi. Daniel so desperatly wanted to learn martial arts in order to defend himself and prove he was tough (self) but Mr.Miyagi wanted to enrinch his mind and heart so he had a different plan. In the first movie Mr.Miyagi would have Daniel perform tasks like painting his fence, waxing his car, washing the windows. Mr.Miyagi's most classic when teaching him the way he wanted to perform these tasks was "Wax on, Wax off". As one would expect Daniel grew impatient because it seemed like every day it was the same thing, there was no actual "moves" being taught. Daniel began to grow angry and think Mr.Miyagi was a joke and finally Mr. Miyagi reminded of when he taught him to paint the fence, he kicked at Daniel and by reflex daniel blocked the kick. The motion of painting the fence was teaching him to have correct technique, when he threw a punch the motion of cleaning the windows taught Daniel to deflect the punch. The lesson happened repeatdly to ensure that Daniel was learning from it what Mr.Miyagi wanted him to learn.
         When God has made up in his mind that he wants you to learn a lesson, he will like Mr. Miyagi give you a series of lessons designed to teach you the skill NEEDED(pay attention to that word) to learn. You come to him and you say " I want to be better" so he makes you better he just uses his own tactics because he knows they are sure to work. Like Daniel you began to feel like a servant boy, as if your doing things that serve no purpose or perhaps why do I constantly have to go through this. Until you see the lesson being taught you will never learn and move on. It's so hard for you because you won't sit down and learn, God isnt putting too much on you its just your flesh not wanting to move out of the way. My biggest problem is getting too frustrated too easily. I'll get so frustrated I am unreasonable and even harder to reason with, so my first thing is to blame the thing that is frustrating me not asking myself "why is this frustrating me?" James 1:14 clears this all the way up "But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed."So it's not the situation its really ME! I found that my anger comes from my own selfish desire in other words what I wanted, or because I didnt like how something turned out. Refusal to learn to the lesson of how to control my anger keeps me in a perpetual learning cycle of dealing with situations where I am forced to control or Im forever taking the same text. We often forget that the lesson is to get you where God wants you to be, in order to do that somethings have to go. So yes you will find yourself like Daniel in this movie doing the same thing over and over until you get the lesson. Picture it like this learning this lesson could be the pathway to a better job, better marriage/relationship, better life. 90 % of the time its yourself that makes it so much harder for you. When you won't yield to God's plan your plan conflicts with his drastically so the friction you feel is his plan working against yours. Refusal to yield makes him repeat the lesson over and over and over. 2 step process, Teaches the lesson ( his statues found in his word), applies the lesson (the test or experiences that try you.) This part is personal because it is just you and God, family, friends merely can pray but you and God have to work this out together. When you finally grab ahold of the lesson and past the test like Daniel-son you are ready to move to the next thing. Ask yourself this question if you need "What am I not seeing that you want me to see Lord?" I promise you wont have to look hard it will be clear. God Bless Beloved...and thanks for reading.

Who's The Master?

Remember that movie The Last Dragon that to me was an instant classic, in that movie it featured a character played by Julius Carry by the name of "Sho'nuff". His classic line in the movie was "Who's The Master"? His crew would respond by saying "Sho'nuff!!". Though it was just a movie I began to wonder  to myself who is really your master? Fact is most of us don't even know the answer to the question because we are not paying attention. Read a great entry in Our Daily Bread the author of the article Anne Cetas made mention of the scripture Romans 6:16 " Do you not know that when you present yourselves to someone as slaves for obedience, you are slaves of the one whom you obey..." Whomever your master is essentially is the one whom answer when they call. If it's God ultimately you follow his lead, you go where he tells you to go, and will generally live the life he tells you to live no matter the cost. If it's self (believe it or not) you generally do what feels good for you and comfortable for you, God is a master to you but not the master over you, meaning you will hear what he is saying and IF you want to submitt than you will which is a haphazard approach in it of itself. If it's another person, they generally can do whatever they would like whenever they would like and you will submitt generally in this case out of fear of losing them, being hurt by them, or lack of concern for yourself due to being so heavily invested in them, once more God is a secondary choice so that when he serves notice that you in too deep you will MAKE A CHOICE (very important) on weather or not to heed his advice. As we all know money, the need of to fulfill physical desires etc.. all will control you as they have power that you have given to them when you submitt to them. Here is the thing, everyone of these alternatives are imperfect in every way so they are bound to let you down, thing is because they are your master and you their slave (in essence) they have no desire to be concerned with your feelings about the issue. After all YOU CHOSE TO SUBMITT!!!! When you choose God, he won't let you down and when I/You/We feel as though he has he will understand how you feel (though he know he hasen't let you down at all). It makes sense why God would inspire Paul to right that verse in Romans, because in his infinite knowledge he knows the danger in that. He knows that no matter how loyal those other things lay claim to be they will let you down. He in essence is protecting you from that, but when your lured away from him by enticing pleasures its your own fault and unfortuantely you will reap the consequences. I was most convicted by this because I realize how often I would be reluctant to follow God's orders that were so specific because he was my alternative. I would let my drums, money, and people steer me, and the minute I was let down I was upset or mad when I had no right to be. Let us be clear on this God will not fight for our attention ever, if I would rather push him to the side than he wouldnt fight to be first because than my free will would be taken away from me, it has to be my choice to put him first. The bible is so well put together because not only is it the written inspired word of God, its also God's way of saying "Hey!!! I'm just trying to look out for you" Love my family to death, my music, my church, my girl, my life but guess what they cant be master over me, it's not their place. I have to call into account that God is faithful, just, and righteous and if I submitt to him he will elevate me to my rightful place. The bible says in James 4:10 "Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you" Why this can be challenging because of the comfot in those things and search for validation, and catch this (just fell on my heart) If you know that your having that much power over someone and/or taking advantage of them STOP!!!! As a believer I cannot allow you to submitt to me before God, now don't get it in twisted in marriage the bible is clear that a woman is to submitt unto her husband but the idea is not before God ever!! That example is the divine order in which God addresses the house but if that man is clearly not following God you are still loyal to him and submitting  but never denying or not living for Christ rather be the light in the dark place. (my pastor broke that one down..thats the marraige guru) . I am no one's master and no one master's me but God. I have to be conscious daily of this and now even more pray that my focus be turned back to God. God bless you beloved...thanks for reading.

My Sin is not like Your sin!!

"When the scribes of the Pharisees saw that He was eating with the sinners and tax collectors, they said to His disciples, "Why is He eating and drinking with tax collectors and  sinners?" -Mark 2:16.

The Pharisees who were our traditionalist, the one's who favored a man made tradition to God's word. These were the ones who believed it to be more important to outwardly appear to be righteous but inwardly sinful. Quick to point out who was unlawful, and to declare their righteousness because they followed the law and knew the law so well. In the scripture above Jesus is seen here eating at a table with "sinners and tax collectors" and the Pharisees with malice and contempt in their heart for Christ (already) began to question why he is sitting amongst sinners and tax collectors. Understanding the setting, Jesus is seen sitting with those who are typically see as  not aligned with God and perpetually in sin, and then tax collectors who were always then (and now) viewed as thieves and crooks because of the high taxes they levied on the people. The Pharisees bring into question why this man who claims to be the Son of God dines with these people. Let stop right there and establish and deal with this issue of self-righteousness. In their own carnal and self-indulgent minds these Pharisees truly believe they are in a position to judge as if they are the Chief Judge(God). They didn't sit and look to see what was going on? Or. Sit down and listen to see what this man who clearly has more wisdom than they have has to say. They merely began the act of chastising and questioning him, had he committed a Sin? No, but once again those traditions of looking the part of the righteous one takes over and they come down on Christ because he is doctor coming with good medicine for people who want to get well. Beloved, believe this,  no matter how saved you think you are, you were sick and Jesus came and healed you right where you were. I'm not talking about physical sickness (but that too) I mean sick from plague of sin, the evil that so easily controlled and kept you from God. Sometimes if your not careful while even being saved you fall back into old habits, but a self-righteous man who sins is still a sinner. The bible says in Romans 3:23 "For all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God" NOT fell short but fall short that means even now. Prove it? Paul writes in Romans 7:19-20 "For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me." Paul knew better than to think he was immune from sin, and we should do the same. The idea is not to feed into your own hype, recognize that  any opportunity to sit down with someone who is not saved or is struggling with sin is a prime time for God to get glory. Philippians 2:4-5 "do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus" Jesus sat the table with these people because his focus was bigger than their status according to man, he saw a need and he met the need. Their souls were crying out for help, he sat with them as to be amongst them not above them. He never compromised who he was but he illuminated them with his character, that light shined so bright that they had to come out of that dark place into the brilliant light of Christ. When you become so self-righteous and  think so above people you forget your human values and sometimes it takes you having to fall to realize that. Self-righteous can land you around hypocrites, those who want to appear right and that can lure you away from God easier than anything else because your being un-reasonable with yourself and others. Ultimately we have a duty to present ourselves before God as a living and holy sacrifice (Romans 12:1). But none of us goes a day with sinning, weather in thought or deed so we are constantly in sanctification , repenting and turning away from sin back to God. When we forget that we get lost in ourselves, and God's not getting the glory. Your witness is ineffective when you are consumed with self-righteousness, your unapproachable and utterly hard to deal with. When your heart is for God's people and to seek out lost souls for Christ you move, do, and say what God tells you to say.
   "And hearing this, Jesus said to them, "It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick; I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners." Humble yourselves daily before God, consider the walk you made and if I'm certain still making with God. You may not be as you were (grace) but you know we can always do better. If you Love God, than you should love all his children (saved and un-saved). You may hear some thing or see things that are not pleasing to God and that may invoke a self-righteousness in you but recognize that if your in the midst it could be an opportunity for God to shine through you, and then you may not be the vessel to be used to do the work so don't let it taint your walk. Pray with out ceasing. But don't condemn and surely don't hesitate to tell the truth. Be overcome with Love, always speaking the truth (in Love) never compromising the Savior for Sin, remaining ever faithful to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Satan's biggest weapon against us is not the world rather its our self, none of us can save anyone, it is God who saves we are the vessels or tools he uses to do his work. Ultimately if we won't humble ourselves he will find someone who will. Blessings...

Generation XXX

I remember right around the year 2000 I think it was Pepsi was doing these commercials and in these commercials it talked about Generation X. It was the slogan they were using to mark our or my generation of kids. The idea is that were the future and the generation and that it was no in our hands to move things forward. The truth is our generation is a blessed generation, because of our parents generation and how they grew up most of our parents made sure we could live an easier life. That was a great thing and still is, its just that our generation got use to being spoiled and that easy that we didnt get some things that maybe could've gone a long way for us in the long run. Our parents didnt fail us as a matter of fact they slaved for us (most of us anyway) they just didnt want that strict doctrine that forced them to serve God they still taught us Jesus was the only they werent as hard on us as their parents were on them. They didnt give room for anything else but they didnt force us either. Unfortunately the world grew to embrace Jesus less and less so that our generation began to seek out new replacements for God and the knowledge of the bible grew less, the desire for God grew even lesser. Eventually habitual lawlessnes took its place, a desire to be "free" became the new motto of this age, and church if attended at all was a favor to God instead of an oppurtunity for growth for us. Eventually, the bible just wasent enough and the thirst for something "new" came into place so the discovery of different versions of the gospel or turning to an all new religion became the next move. As the world became more and more distant and resistant to Jesus so did this generation. A generation where the children were taught that sex was ok so that young men and young women were virtually using each other up play toys and throwing each other away like old clothes you never wear any more. Wasteful with each other's hearts and a general disconcern with the risk we were putting each other in. Marriage was least desired and monogomy (even if married) was "tiresome and boring". Perversion over conversion was the mindset and the this generation is having it pumped into them a mile a minute via devices that were to be used for positive purposes, thus the creation of Generation XXX.
       This generation actually is no different than any other generation, as a matter of fact it's just the same, the difference is its no longer masked as it used to be. If David (in the bible) was commiting acts of adultry, Moses committing murder, or Noah being a drunk then there is nothing new under the sun. The deal is "back in the day" people hid it better but the same the hearts haven't been changed so the sin is still the same. The crazy part of this is that now we live in such a world that embraces sin all the more that now more than ever its hard to get this generation to turn from it but this is no surprise Paul warns of this in 2 Timothy 3:2 where he wrote "People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy"  The change that our generation could make and actually is being called to make is to live for God anyway. During a great conversation with my brother he said something profound "our generation suffers from being the most biblically illterate generation" that seems offensive but its truth. The knowledge of the bible is severely lacking and it is that knowledge that empowers us to grow closer to God. Often times its heard said that "I am still young and I just want to enjoy my youth, God know's my heart" My brother again said it like this "That is a stupid position and arrogant position". I know that sounds rude but it's an excuse to continue you like you were before. I'm not saying I am perfect because God knows I am far from it but knowing you can do better and choosing not too is foolish. The reality is our generation no longer are kids we are the one's having children, starting families, and we are expecting raise to another generation of children that equally have no knowledge of the true and living God. Demonstrating to them that its ok to live as free as you want or live anyway you want in a pursuit to "enjoy themselves". God's ultimate plan for us is Sanctification. 1 Thessalonians 4:3 "For this is the will of God, your sanctification;" That word sanctification simply means to be set aside for use or special purpose, the process of becoming holy like God. We are on this earth for that purpose and that purpose only, that is Goal number one. All of our goals like careers, and marriage, and family are things that through the scope of sanctification to God we do. That means its all from his perspective first. This is not to bash or push anyone out it's to help you and me out, most of us will be parents one day and we need to have the tools needed in order to teach our children to be followers after Christ. The message or gospel of Jesus Christ was sent to bring good news of salvation and forgivness of sins. The idea is that we are made right through Christ through grace. We are still young but are held responsible for every action that we make, and while striving to be young and wild hell is still burning. I'm not saying you can't have a social life but the real question is when this is all over do you know where your going? That conversation is scary but this world is not the final resting place, we are here to do one thing work for God we labor for him. The reward for the diligent and true believers of Christ is rest in heaven. I'm not saying will cease as a matter of fact the more that turn to God the worser the times will get. It's not Generation X its Generation NEXT. WE are up to bat and I'm sorry I want to spirtually equipped to lead a wife and father Children. The reality is this will be offensive to someone who is in opposition to this, to those who want after God this will be the message to encourage you to fight for Christ. If your not saved this could be the message to lead towards steps to salvation. We are not the lost generation, God has big plans for us, we have to run after those plans and live boldly for God.

Mediocrity is A- Ok with me.

I remember when I was a teenager and during that time I was a part of a youth ministry that had sunday services called J.A.M.(Jesus and Me). This service was designed to keep the youth focused on Christ and providing a confidence in being young and a Christian. I remember the youth pastor at the time used this as focus always " Mediocrity is unacceptable." It was to teach us to never live beneath our means, and to encourage us to live for the best that God has for us. To be mediocre is to be "barely adequate", that means your it's just enough to make it but only just that. Imagine now if your whole life is in that way, that means everything you are doing is barely enough to make it. For the Christian believer this is dangerous, that means your worship is barely adequate, and the same with your service, praying, bible reading, belief, and even your every day dealings with everyone. It causes tension in your life constantly because you realize that everyone around you is not settling or no longer settling. Mediocrity causes you too sink, it causes your living for Christ to be stagnant and your concern for your own self to be the same. It usually starts when a comfort level has been reached with just making it. Imagine if Christ had been mediocre, I know that's kind of deep but this issue is really that DEEP! If Christ lived a mediocre life he would not have cared too much about certain issues, he would not have worked so hard preaching sermons, performing miracles, or even worse dying on the CROSS! Think of it like this, What if God is trying to birth something in you that will bless many and even more bring people to the light of Christ, but because you won't come out of a mediocre attitude they are not getting that message. Ultimately God will get the message across but you will not be the vessel he uses(that should not be ok for you). Your life is just as valuable as the person to your left or right, when you live beneath that your slapping God in the face. Your telling him that this gift he gave you is barely adequate and that it will JUST do. You cannot maintain healthy relationships, live a healthy life, or worse experience the fullness of God with a mediocre attitude. You will never be able to enjoy your life because your stagnant--that means your not moving your standing still. A Dream is just a dream, but our friend Joseph in the bible  had dreams that came to past, they were more than just mere fantasies. So if your tired of mediocrity than talking to God about it is the first step, and then walking out that change. You want something different on the job than get there on time, do the job your paid to do, and avoid complacency even if others are encouraging it. Push for more and challenge yourself always. Want that relationship to be more I suggest you stop doing the same thing if you know its not working and if that same thing that your doing is SIN than STOP! Live for God in everything you do and stay in constant communication with God. You should be tired of how it feels every morning and every night if your living this way. You should be tired of watching everyone live out their dreams and following God's plan and your not. The clark sisters had a song they sang that asked a simple question  "Is my living in vain?". Live for Christ always his approval is whose you want to gain , no job, no significant other, no person, no family member will ever give you the approval that God is only able to give. Those things are imperfect and will sometimes let you down. That means that people patting you on the back should not be the goal of doing well, but the achievement and the work you did to get there should be the peace of mind. If your desiring change and you don't know how I direct to you as it was directed to me by a good friend James 4:7a "Submit therefore to God. " Until you decide enough is enough it will never change for you...this is your life and in this instant it has to be about you and God. No one else no matter how much they care for you and even love you can help you with this and that might create even more frustration because of that dependency but the idea is this you need to face yourself in front of God and submit to his plan and flee from this disease known as mediocrity. In the words of my old youth pastor "Mediocrity is Unacceptable". A sick person won't get better until they take the medicine prescribed by the doctor. 

Helping Goes Both Ways

"The biggest and dangerous mistake you can make in this life you live is that you spend your life giving to others to better them and never better yourself. It's the sad thing to wake up one morning and see that everyone has grown except you. Helping someone is never wrong but the question is have you helped yourself. This creates nothing but misery and regret resulting in bitterness..make it a goal to never sink lower trying to build someone else up"-Unknown

What an interesting quote right? I know what it seems like but honestly have you heard the saying "too much of anything can kill you"? Or how about this saying "everything must be done in moderation"? Christ made his life and his ministry (really one in the same) about helping humanity but at no point did he compromise his character or his standard of life. Sometimes when you want so badly to help others you get so caught in the help part that you forget about the purpose. Helping them simply means your aiding them and not hindering them. When you reach the point when you have traded places...and you are where they were and they are now where you were there is a problem. At no point where you to downgrade to help they rather the idea was for them to raise themselves up to where you are. That is how you elevate them, your not helping them when you take on their characteristics in order to "relate" to them. The true mark of the Christian believer is the model that Christ set. Christ met  Mary Magdalene after she had been caught in the act of fornication, but surely he didn't engage in the act with her did he? John 8:1-11 "¹But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. ²At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. ³The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group⁴and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. ⁵In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" ⁶They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

   But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. ⁷When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."⁸Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
 ⁹At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. ¹⁰Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"
 ¹¹"No one, sir," she said.
      "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin." The premise is he overlooked her sin and then even helped her out and sent her on her way encouraging to repent from sin. I can say that my testimony is this...I have spent most of my young adult life helping or trying to help people desiring for people to know Christ in a very real way. I realized that I had exerted so much energy into seeing people with God that I start slacking, not reading, not praying, as much because I was too busy trying to give them advice. The most effective part of Christ ministry was that he was living out his ministry. Helping ALWAYS GOES BOTH WAYS. The inability to lead by example enables a position when you being to slack in your walk. Funny thing is when your focus became about helping people for gain because honestly that's what it is about, you wanted them to say "look how much you have done for me" the whole time they were learning the lessons of the bible. When Peter saw the wind he got scared and begin to sink.  Not only was his faith lingering but his focus was on the wrong thing. When you get distracted by doing a good for the wrong reasons your not helping yourself. God is using you even still to bless them. You end up frustrated and questioning whats going on with you? The idea is everything you do is for God. The minute you allow yourself to be led away from God even when doing his work you need to stop and readjust your focus. If the only way someone will listen to you is if you meet them at the club, smoke with them, go to compromising places then they don't really want the help. You don't want to wake up one day and see your growth come to a halt, because the reality is if your not careful everyone your helping may end up in heaven as you head straight to hell. My brother told me all the time and still does "the road to hell was paved with good intentions". I currently was convicted by this and am now in a position where I have to steal away from people to study, and pray because I noticed I was not in the right mind or living as I used to. It is truly to possible to be out of fellowship with God even when you look like (outward) you aren't. 1 Samuel 16:7 simply says this "But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, ^(A)

Withdrawl....

Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.-2 Corinthians 6:17.

I don't believe I ever finished my last 4 days of blogging which was bad of me so here is one blog to encompass those three days. Lets begin with a story that will act as a metaphor for this entire blog today.


         I remember when I watched this movie called "The G.O.A.T." it was about a famous basketball player named Earl Manigault and the character was played by Don Cheadle. In this movie he was a insanely good basketball player who of course played in high school and played in some in college. He ended up messing up his career in college ball because he turned to a habit that would try to ruin his life and that would be drugs. He began using drugs alot and it began to take him into a life he never knew he could find. When he came to the realization that he needed to quit because of all that he was losing he had to kick the habit. In order to do that he had to go through withdrawl, this process would cause him to feel pain like he never felt and even made him sick to the point of vomitting. It was not a pleasant experience to say the least. When he finished going through withdrawl he went back to hanging out with friends and ran into a friend who was still using drugs and he found himself ALMOST relapsing but what stopped him is watching is best friend overdose and die right in front of him. The worst pain one could feel right? Suffice to say, Earl stayed clean for the rest of his life and started a basketball program that I believe is still up and running even until today.

Paul's scripture up above in 2nd Corinthians 6:17 is his encouraging word for the believers not be like the world, but to maintain Christian values (not compromising them) while still living in this world. I submitt to you this morning, we sometimes have to go through WITHDRAWL!! Like a drug user the body develops a dependency on the habit and at first what used to feel wrong now feels right. You are still aware that its wrong but you keep doing it. Why? Because your gaining a dependence on it and most times the habit is a way out. Again, using the metaphor of drugs the dependency is coming from constant consumption of the product, and whats its inside of you thats whats coming out. The user and the dealer may say it feels good and they rationalize. To make it practical we make excuses and blame others for our habits that we know we should not indulge in. But Jesus differently in Luke 6:45 "A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh" It's in your heart, when you keep indulging its no one else, that person just sparks a recognition of those things inside of you and gives them a way to move. It's easy to say "I lie so much because THEY cause me to lie", or " I hate so much because THEY make me so angry". Why is it they and not I. They should never have any control over you like that and if they THEY do then there is your dependency. I am guilty of this, calling on Jesus, trying to teach somebody about the gospel but my dependency aint on him fully. You see when it's on him I cant and wont blame someone else for my sin, I won't make an excuse for why I can't (and subsequently won't ) get right. The issue is I have become dependent and therefore comfortable with my sin. When we do that we are so dependent on the sin and others that we wait on them to move first and we "find a way out". When we know that we need not induldge these habits any more for our own growth we have to go through that withdrawl. I believe I said it on twitter last night, withdrawl from bad habits can be hard, painful, and even frustating. It can also weigh a ton on you, but it is the cross we must bear in order to see growth. You may feel alone, most times when people see you are trying to rid yourself of those habits they either try to get you to fall or they won't want to be around you as much. Sometimes you could be that person in someone elses life.(think about it). It can be days filled with lonely nights, feeling the urge to want to relapse but experience the battle your spirit man and the flesh and as the spirit of God is overcoming the flesh it  will weigh on you like a ton but it all will pass away. You may even hurt inside because you feel that lonliness but for God I say lose it all for his gain in your life. However, those who truly LOVE would never let you go through this alone unless it was absolutely necessary. The point is that God wants you not to desire the attention of the habits or those people, he wants you to desire his attention. We all must walk this walk in our quest to grow stronger in him. It maybe something like over eating or fornicating, or stealing, or lusting or anything. It will benefit you all the more to "seek ye first the kingdom of heaven, and all his righteousness; and all these things will be added unto you"-Matthew 6:33.
Peace to all...God Bless.

Day 4: You cant love me because I dont love me.

"Therefore ^(T)I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with ^(U)distresses, with ^(V)persecutions, with ^(W)difficulties, ^(X)for Christ's sake; for ^(Y)when I am weak, then I am strong."


I can remember when I was younger sitting in a room with friends shootin the breeze about various topics and of course since I surely was not trying to run for jesus all the conversations went to about girls or all kinds of stuff we probrably should not have been talking about. I can remember in all those conversations there was always one person who just would not join in on the conversation. Often times he was called weak or being a "punk" because he didnt feel a need to talk about those things. After a while everyone left him alone because he no longer responded to the insults any more he just kept quiet and felt no need to constantly prove himself anymore. The word esteem by definition means "respect or regard"and then the word self means you. So self-esteem is the respect or regard you have for yourself. If I truly have respect and regard for myself than I feel no need to justify you why I don't do like you do. I'm not saying I am better than you but surely I'm not worse than you either. The struggle sometimes is when everyone does it one way but because of the respect for yourself you go another way, and the ridicule you recieve because you did difference. I like what Paul does here in this scripture he affirms that his idenity is in Christ he boldly says that he is ok with weakness(human weakness), insults, distresses, persecutions, and difficulties for Christ sake, because where he is weak (in the flesh) he is strong or powerful (in Christ). Therefore, there is no need to constantly change your position or re-affirm yourself so that others will like you. Paul makes it clear persecute me or make fun of me because of how I walk, how I talk, it really does not matter I am clear that my value and identity is firmly rooted in Christ. Alot of times our identity is in so many different things that our esteem for ourselves flucuates when those things arent going well. Most popularly are relationships...when your identity is in your relationship that thing controls you and when your worried about losing that person that thought crushes you and to some extent you should feel some heartbreak but no much that you lose your sense of existence. When a person has made up in their mind that they would have someone else over you there is nothing you can do but accept that and even thank them for no longer waisting your time. The idea is that is difficulty that can occur and like Paul said just accept that and move on because in Christ you are made stronger. I am not saying that you should not love someone because that is a beautiful thing what I am saying is that if you dont love you first they never will. When you have a strong sense of identity in Christ you have no reason to worry, or re-affirm, or go crazy, you are so confident in him that created you that you know whatever happens will happen for my good. That's how Joseph was able to tell his brothers after the pit, the prison, and the palace "what you meant for my bad God meant for my good.(Genesis 50:20). When your on the job and they all wana go left but GOd says go right than GO RIGHT!! They will make fun of you, ridicule you but "Blessed are those who have been ^(M)persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for ^(N)theirs is the kingdom of heaven."- Matthew 5:10. So he/she gone cheat or break up with you than let them have it...you have no reason to fear or think you won't make it. It will be hard and there will be some pain but again it does not matter any more if your idenity in Christ, in that moment of weakness when you feel that pain he will give you that strength. If your outspoken, quiet, intelligent, keen, respectful, organized or whatever than that is who God created you to be, and the reason you keep feeling so uncomfortable all the time is because your trying to fix that so that you can fit in with everyone else. When God saved you he never took those characteristics away from you, he merely uses them for his glory, after all he put them in you. When Paul was saved his high merit and intelligence never ceased he wrote those books like an astout man of God. He merely recognized that it was for Christ, and not for him. Apolgizing for living holy is absurd, one thing about Christ, he never had to prove himself. He walked his walk and talked his talk. Don't be you for the world but BE YOU IN CHRIST!! If you dont love you than that is why everyone wont love you either. You know who you are in Christ and what he has been telling you to do. Stop apologizing for who you and be that person. You dont have to cuss, you dont have to drink(nothing wrong with drinking if your 21 and up the idea is you dont need to do it to fit in), have sex, lie, steal,cheat.  But if you choose too (no way in any way fashion or form condoning it or even encouraging it) do them because you think for yourself. Alot of has have the past we have and even the present now because we were too afraid to say no. God loves you not matter what you done, but you can avoid something by having the confindence and boldness to say...NO and keep going. My friends there is a rich treasure lying inside of you that you will untap when you become loving of you are in Christ. God will lead you to this discovery when you find yourself in Christ. God bless you all and thank you for reading. 

Vengance: Whose it anyway?!

"You shall not take vengeance, ^(U)nor bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but ^(V)you shall love your neighbor as yourself; I am the LORD."- Leviticus 19:18

Man, I surely can remember my ways...I love to go back forth with a person, if I got mad because of them I would just slice back and forth. However, one time when I kept doing it with my brothers they would just stop and say "Ok man..you got it". Of course that made me angrier so to get back at them in my foolishness I said something or did something outlandish. Why?!! I wanted to feel satisfied by hurting  them to the point where they felt like I felt. This is what we do when we seek vengeance. When I attended the F.O.R.T. church I heard the pastor by the name of John Hollman say this "when we(humans) seek vengeance its pointless because our whole point is to make them feel the hurt we felt, but in order to do that you have to hurt them worse because its impossible for them to feel exactly as you felt at the moment when they hurt you so you have to hurt them worse" That right there is about as practical as it gets, when we take matters into our own hands and seek vengeance we make it worse. It's like a scab, when you pick at it it opens the wound back up and the healing process has to start over again. God takes vengeance and makes it his because he knows our hearts and he knows how to repay it so that it is completely JUST. What does that word just mean..it means its "guided by truth, reason, and fairness". When in our human mind take over that job, we are driven by anger so guess what? We dont reason correctly and we just act out of complete foolishness. In the end when the cloud has cleared someone is hurt badly and your left with the feeling of "why did I let it go that far". For some of us (yes believers) we don't even feel sorrow...we say "shoot I aint bout to let nobody get me like that..no not me". God says differently though...he says it's his and look at the end of that verse he tells you how to deal with your neighbor he says "you shall LOVE your neighbor as yourself". That right there affirms what Jesus said in Matthew 7:12 " "In everything, ^(A)therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for ^(B)this is the Law and the Prophet" When you love someone (yes even someone who has hurt you badly) you have to be overcome with LOVE and Love them as you love yourself. The issue is not about them, but its about you and God. Romans 12:20 explains this simply it says "On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." Now literally you do not put burning coals on their head but what this means is that you are liberated from vengeance, you have truly let it go even to the point of helping them when they are in need. The idea with coals is like this...you ever been at home and the AC wasent working right and its started getting hot in the room you know at first you could stand but after a while that heat starts making things uncomfortable for you. You start to sweat and you desire some cool air to just come on so you can cool off. Likewise, when you resist the urge to seek that vengeance its no longer on you. God has it and now its on them, like coals on their head the heat from those coals causes a person to feel the shame and it makes it uncomfortable for them what happens next, it causes them to bend and repent and apologize. Thats why they get mad when you dont bite back at them when they bit you. They are being made uncomfortable with the fact that you acting like its no big deal. They don't realize you are just trying to be free and free indeed. When God takes it he asumes full control and knows how to repay it correctly. No matter if they say you are weak, or a punk, you know you know they are upset because they are uncomfortable with the fact that you are staying calm and not being like them. Transcending above foolishness is how we eliminate it by not giving it a place to take root. No matter what anyone says...it is better to heap those coals then get the coals heaped on you. God Bless you all and stay tuned for day 4. 

Deal with it or God Will!!

<sup>Hello All, 

This is day 2 of my 7 days of blogging and today we are talking about dealing with an issue before God deals with it. Today the scripture reference comes from 2 Samuel 12:1-9. Let's check it out!
"1</sup> The LORD sent Nathan to David. When he came to him, he said, "There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor. ² The rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle, ³ but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb he had bought. He raised it, and it grew up with him and his children. It shared his food, drank from his cup and even slept in his arms. It was like a daughter to him.
 ⁴ "Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him."
 ⁵ David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, "As surely as the LORD lives, the man who did this deserves to die! ⁶ He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity."
 ⁷ Then Nathan said to David, "You are the man! This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: 'I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. ⁸ I gave your master's house to you, and your master's wives into your arms. I gave you the house of Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more. ⁹ Why did you despise the word of the LORD by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own."

If we follow this story from 1 Samuel 11 we the story of David and Bathsheeba. David looks onto this beautiful women bathing. Lets deal with this issue first. Was David supposed to be at home? The pastor at the church I used to attend brought this to our attention in 2 Samul 11:1 "In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war" Why was David (the king of isreal) at home when all the other kings have gone off to the war. Thats an issue but not the main issue here. David see's Bathsheeba and with lusting eyes he desires to have her, he sleeps with her and she becomes pregnant. The thing is David has slept with a married woman. Her husband one of the men in David's army Uriah is her husband. He has committed adultry with this women. David then goes on to send for Uriah in an effort to cover the mess up hoping Uriah will go home and sleep with his wife but Uriah does not go home instead this is what happens:
" When David was told, "Uriah did not go home," he asked him, "Haven't you just come from a distance? Why didn't you go home?"
 ¹¹ Uriah said to David, "The ark and Israel and Judah are staying in tents, and my master Joab and my lord's men are camped in the open fields. How could I go to my house to eat and drink and lie with my wife? As surely as you live, I will not do such a thing!"-2 Samuel 11:10-11
So now to cover up the mess he tries to trick Uriah by getting him drunk so than he will go sleep with his wife and no one will know the difference. Of course Uriah is an up right man and does not go home but instead he sleeps on the mat among the master's servants. So David does the next thing he writes a letter instructing that Uriah be put on the front lines in battles and sends the letter back with Uriah. So Uriah was put on the front lines and killed. The problem is solved right? No, the bible says in 2 Samuel 11:27 "....but the thing he did displeased the Lord".
What happens when you have created a bed for yourself to lay in and gotten so comfortable in that bed that you love the way it feels and feel nothing is wrong? In that instance in your mind nothing really is wrong. David wanted Bathsheeba (another man's wife) so bad that he would kill her husband to be with her. The issue is not just lust but rather SIN knowing no end. He doesent even stop and repent because in his mind nothing is really wrong. You want it to be practical dont you? Here it is in 2010, if I have a drug problem, an anger problem, a sex problem, or any kind of problem, if I have gotten comfortable in it what really will stop me from doing it any longer? Im comfortable here and no matter who I am (my status in the church) I am not leaving. I ignore my conscience and my God for my desire. In the scripture passage at the beginning it was God who had to send Nathan to correct David. Do you know David would have kept on living like nothing was wrong if Nathan had not have been sent. When nathan came he did not come with a warning, he charged David. He made him aware of his offense and then told him of the repercussions. "This is what the LORD says: 'Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity upon you. Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will lie with your wives in broad daylight. ¹² You did it in secret, but I will do this thing in broad daylight before all Israel.' "-2 Samuel 12: 11-12. It was then and only then that said "I have sinned against the Lord". The moment of repentance comes when the punishment was handed down. We often times will wait till stuff gets so bad that its un-bearable to make change, or to stop, and repent. We forget God doesent force himself on us but he is watching. And like David if you are amongst the many who accept Christ then you are held to a higher standard. When you decide to choose your way over his way. Then he lets you have it, he wont fight with you on it. Romans 1:28 tells us "Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done." You want it than you can have it. But when he sends Nathan, reality kicks in. Thats when you have to deal with what you have done. The good news today is that Christ comes to take away the guilt and shame and forgiveness is avaialble. The reality is why wait till the problem becomes more than a problem but now an issue. Once you see it beginning to manifest deal with it then. If David had not had taken that second look or a first look he would've never had this issue. Most times we don't think its a problem we rationalize it and make excuses to do it. When are feeling desperate, lonley, ashamed, strung out, careless we turn to things that we know we ought not do. The greatest trick the enemy uses against us is things like that, when feeling alone we search for a way out, the thing is that the point after sin can one of the lonliest times you feel because you know you have wronged God, and your left alone with that feeling. Worst than that you are so far from God like David you don't even feel its wrong. It takes someone like nathan having to come to show you what you did. I admonish you people whatever problem (if any) you are dealing with it. Deal with it now or God Will!! Stay tuned for day 3!

Sick people need healing:I am a Disciple? Really?

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life^[h] will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it."- Matthew 16:24-25.

You remember when you accepted Christ into your heart? Remember the person who you spoke to about it, or the process you went through to get there. I would imagine someone took time out with you to explain what it is you were getting yourself into. Normally at church that part in the service at the end of the sermon when the preacher extends a "Call to discipleship" is where that would normally take place. What about when we are not in church? I can speak for myself for the longest time I was like "I'm not the type of person to just walk up to someone and try to witness the gospel, that aint my calling"..lol. Not realizing that it was an official call we all take when we come to Christ. You saying p huh? Watch this...In the book of Mark chapter 2 around verse 13...Jesus is goes out by a Lake and large crowd comes out to him and he begins to teach them. As he is teaching them he see's Levi at the tax collectors booth and gives the call (to discipleship) to come follow him. Naturally Levi follows after him(as anyone of us would've if Jesus said it straight to you). He goes on to eat dinner with them at Levi's house and he sitting amongst as the bible says "tax collectors and sinners". Why does this matter? Like the present day; tax collectors are known for cheating the people out of their money, you know the type of person that would sell their own mother to get that money and of course "sinners" implies those who are unholy against God. The teachers who were Pharisees (according to the bible) noticed this and asked the other disciples (v.16) "Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?" Jesus profound response in verse 17 was/is "On hearing this, Jesus said to them, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." One thing about this book we know as the bible that must be never overlooked is God's full intention. These and many other illustrations are deliberately placed here by God via his servants to teach us practical lessons about this life we live. Jesus, here has illustrated the true essence of discipleship by teaching the ignorant and those who want to learn about how to bring others out of sin and into a saved life. Now, the difference with us and Jesus is that we can save no one but merely can lead others to the one who saves! His statement to those pharisees was to teach them something, you see Christ was a carpenter but what was his main purpose on this earth. To die on that cross and save humankind from hell. He knew his purpose, and he lived that purpose out. Let's make it practical for 2010 believers, you are a accountant, a lawyer, a doctor, or whatever your craft is. That is your gift, but not your purpose. The gift is a means to exercise the purpose. Prove it? Ok... Romans 8:28 " And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,^[a] who^[b] have been called according to his purpose." Now them aint my words, check for yourself cuz' that's what it says. Whatever you do as a believer his purpose for your life is to give him glory. That's being his disciple, now you may not be a preacher, or working in the church but if you want to make it real plain...WE ARE THE CHURCH. Oh yea? I dont believe you...Ok...here it is. 1 Corinthians 12:12-20 "¹²The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. ¹³For we were all baptized by^[c] one Spirit into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.
 ¹⁴Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. ¹⁵If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. ¹⁶And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. ¹⁷If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? ¹⁸But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. ¹⁹If they were all one part, where would the body be? ²⁰As it is, there are many parts, but one body." The metahpor here is that we make up the body of Christ.  1 Corinthians 12:27 "Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it." YOU...that is US. We all have different tasks same goal (or purpose) GOD's glory. Being a disciple does not mean that you force the gospel down anyone's throat but it does mean you are the living proof of God's power and grace and mercy and that in it of itself is the witnessing. The Love Jesus had for all men compelled him to sit at a table with a bunch of thieving tax collectors, and sinners as they eat a feast he came with the meat that will cause them to hunger no more. That LOVE lives on is the believer...he told the disciples in John 13:35 "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." Weather we realize it or not we got people who sit next to us, call us, laugh with us, even we call family and we know they aint saved. Our goal is not to make them become saved because its their choice, but we are most definitely to live the life that when they look at us it is a compelling lifestyle that makes them ask "how did you get like that?". We dont want to witness but when God makes it available we have to act on it in his will to do his will that someone else will come to Christ. It's not a scary thing its a incredible thing...i believe it was my girlfriend who showed me something in Colossians 4 verse 6 it said "Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." That salt gives it flavor, so you keep their attention. Jesus was practical in his approach he knew how to get their attention and keep it. When its right and in its place you will speak with the authority of Christ and they will listen. My friends being a disciple is a task that we can do, must do, and will do for God's glory. Thanks for reading and stay tuned for Day 2.

"WALK IT OUT"

Part 4: The Discipled Relationship.

The disciples were the 12 mean who followed after Christ hearing and witnessing his ministry and then after his death they took that ministry into the world in order to help save other men. The key area of interest for today's blog is that they FOLLOWED after him.

Marriage is truly a sacred institution as it is the snapshot picture of Christ becoming one with the Church. Men are to love as Christ loved the church, women are to submitt as we believers submitt to Christ. All of these things are divine and absolute, this is the way God ordained it to be. However, because this is a sacred institution it has to be entered upon the correct way. This relationship before taking vows must be a discipled relationship. As dating couples both of you individually must decide to take back your life and follow Christ. In the first 3 parts I simply provided understanding for dating, the role of the man and the role of the women, so now part 4 deals with the finished result. I submitt to all of you believer and unbeliever that dating today is tough, the world influences so much that we find ourselves as believers wanting to do after the world. Having sex, living foolishly, not valuing each other, cheating, and experiencing consequences such as std's, pre-marital pregnancy's. The thing is though God makes it clear these things we must not desire after the world. Romans 12:2 "²And do not ^(A)be conformed to ^(B)this world, but be transformed by the ^(C)renewing of your mind, so that you may ^(D)prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect." What happens when we don't have discipled relationships is we lose respect for one another. Through vehicles like sex (mostly) it is so easy to lose respect and value for the person you are with. The relationship becomes about that, and as you give in to lust more and more you find yourself desiring those things all the more. When you lose respect for a person, you look at them differently and you then begin to search for a way out, or you begin not to care any more. If you truly believe however that this is someone you want to spend the rest of your life with and convinced God has given you this person, then if your not living this way I urge you to stop now. Turning back to Christ is better than falling deeper into that pit. The funny fact about this is that turning back can be the thing that brings the two of you closer together in Christ. Be careful though not to use God as a tool to beat up the other person, rather come to God together and grow together in his name. However, for some this could be the breaking factor, if one person has decided they do not want to give up certain things and the other person is giving it up for Christ than it is best you go your separate ways. The purging process is not an easy one but it is truly and blessed one because God guides you ever step of the way. If you are a relationship that is still running for God, than keep on running. Deny that flesh constantly, see each other through Christ eyes constantly. For all relationships, learn to see each other through God's eyes. Don't wait for the pastor or the church to fix this problem, when you have the power to fix it yourself. Communicate the goal to each other, and walk together. Again, my brother and his wife exemplified this as they walked hand in hand together in Christ right into a beautiful marriage. The laboring is worth the reward. Following after Christ is the key  Matthew 16:24 "Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and ^(AH)take up his cross and follow Me." Pray. Persist. Perservere. If he/she is truly a gift from God then its worth working hard for, praying for, persisting with, and persevering with. God wants the best for BOTH OF YOU. He forgiven you., and look he loves to have his succesful marriage rate continually go up. But it has to  be done right before the marriage. Don't wait to get married to change, change now to make the marriage better. Focus even not on the marriage, but on growing in Christ, and you'll see that marriage naturally comes. If its a heart issue ask God to turn your heart back to him, if its a belief issue accept Christ. This is not a lost cause, Christians can date and live for and value God's teachings. I need Christ even now while I am typing this...because the thing is if we allow ourselves to slip into sin continually with this person we will do more than just those acts, we are compromising our witness, our walk, and HIS way. Your salvation is never worth it. Its important to not let your fear of losing this person get in the way of of God because you should fear losing Christ more. So to the men and women walking it out, LOVE each other, live for Christ, and KEEP GOD FIRST. Remember Matthew 6:33 "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and ^(A)all these things will be added to you." I put the bold on the word first because that needs to be the first move you make above all things. Worry not about what other relationships are doing but concern yourself with how God wants you to live in this one. Its not scarry, its not something to be afraid to talk about with each other, its something to share and care enough about each other to not hide. God bless each eye that reads this, I hope this has been a blessing to you all. Thank you to all of you who took the time to read this series as we learn to Eliminate the fiction, Understand the Facts, and Know the Difference. Thank you again...

Part 3 The Man vs. God's Man: Understanding The Man of God

Part 3 of Christians and dating. deals with understanding the man's side of the story within a relationship. I am no expert and I do not speak for all men but again I've heard some incredible things in these past few months and again I am compelled to share them with you all.

I remember my freshman year of college and my percussion professor was teaching us how to tune tympani. I was so fasicinated with the process you had to go through just to tune one drum, because here you have these big drums that look sooo heavy duty but yet you had to be so gentle with them in order not to damage the head on the drum, and the drum itself. They were big and heavy but yet you had to be gentle with it all the more just to take care of it.

Men...we are designed to be tough, rough, hard, strong I mean that is our design by creation but what God did with us is he made us gentle giants. I dont care how strong you are a man turns into a different person when he is with his lady, she makes him become more gentle. That person we are with them, is who we really are, we just want to be LOVED and appreciated. We dont say it but we dont push it away when its given to us. However, as men in Christ our focus has to be on God. Christ himself was a man who possesed power in his voice but was as gentle and loving with all creation. He came not to condemn the sick but to find the cure, not to bash but to build up. His character was never compromised, what he did as a man was allowed himself (in total confidence in his Lord) to be who he was and that became such a desireable trait that people flocked to him. As men we must know that our Character must be sharpened in Christ first. We must be defined by his standards and cling to his way of life not our own.

In our desire to be loved and appreciated we get lost in who the problem is, nine times out of 10 we are dealing with our own insecurities but the first person (sometimes) we choose to take that on is our women. Believe it or not promiscuity is the same for men and as it is for women. The more girls you get means nothing to you as a man, you are just sharing more of you with more of them. But what happens that day when you meet the girl of your dreams, and you have to explain to her all the things you used to do, its the worst feeling in the world to wish you had stopped then so you could save it for the one you actually Love and care for. 1 Peter 3:7 "You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with ^(J)someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered". I cannot be a husband to a wife, much less the head of the house if I am not confident enough with myself as a man. The woman is not the problem, it is us. We use the bedroom as a way out, to not half to deal with fears, worries, or better yet LIFE. Strength is not defined merely by how much I can pick up, but how strong I am when there is force working against me. A good friend of mine P.T. Ngwolo said it best "women trade sex for love, and men trade love for sex." I'll say I love you if it means I get some. We have to learn LOVE for what it truly is from God. God is love and when we learn that we can learn what it means to LOVE a woman. But women, its important to know a man's heart as well. A man's biggest goal is to take care of his woman, provide, nurture and when that is in deficit his pride is hurt. It does not mean women that you should yield all of your needs to him (especially if y'all are just dating) IT means understanding that and allowing him to be that man. At the same time we must know that being "the man" is not that crucial remember "pride comes before the fall". As men we are trying to understand you, and as women you are trying to understand us. Somewhere in there is common ground and agreement that calls for peace. Men, if she doesn't value you then you gotta move on. If she just tolerates you and that's it than that means she only puts up with you and that's it. (she wouldn't want you to do that to her) LOVE says this...as P.T. so eloquently put it "Love is trading the best in you for the worst in them"the goal my sisters is to not obey these books i.e. "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" or ideas that paint men as being sooo off from women. Like I said to the women yesterday we are helpers to one another. God never intended for us to be at odds with each other like we are today...we will have our differences but we are still supposed to be able to reach common ground and conquer each other with LOVE. Understand women he may be a talker, or stubborn, or unwilling to change but if you be honest so are you. We play this game like we are so vastly different when in reality we are alike in so many ways..its taking the time to understand. God gave us a major responsibility to be the head, and as men we must take that seriously. I don't care how good she look my friend, and how great the opportunity as a man it will not benefit you at all to lay with her IF SHE AINT YOUR WIFE!!!. If you LOVE him my dear, don't tempt him(plain and simple). If he as a man does not have have sense enough to act as a man of God you being the woman of God encourage him to do so. If you know he is going to give in than don't set the trap...if he tells you he wants to turn back to Christ respect that and if you want turn with him. He is not going to admit that it is his weakness but if you pay close enough attention to realize that it is. As a man be honest enough with yourself to admit it , bold enough to speak about it, and wise enough to act on it. At the core ladies, us men have a desire to be understood. Understanding is more than half the battle because now you can see where it all comes from when we get irater or start acting funny(does not make it an excuse, but you have gained understanding as to why). Now your not JUST tolerating him your accepting him for who he is. My brothers, in our quest to be understood we have to communicate that. Because Adam failed to speak up he died to sin and was seperated form God until Christ came back made it right. Sometimes as men speaking up will save a soul, it will SAVE OUR OWN SOULS. Don't wait on her to make the change, when you know you need to do better. IF you want her to trust you enough to follow your lead in marriage, than be that man when she is your girlfriend and your fiance. Be level minded, un-doubtful, and standing by your choices. James 1:7-8 says this:
"For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord,
 ⁸being a ^(S)double-minded man, ^(T)unstable in all his ways."
That strong woman is looking for a strong-minded man who stood on his own before her. He leans on God first, and is bold enough to even tell her no when she is wrong. I know you don't want to lose her my friend but as she has to be willing to lose you if it be for Christ so should you. Anything that will cause you to stray from God is no good to you or for you. Being a man means being patient 1 Corinthians 13:4 "Love is patient..." Remember the gentle giant concept...As rough as you are God still gave you a gentle heart because day by day  God is still gentle with us. Every man on earth who desires to LOVE a woman must LOVE God with all his heart, and must love himself. A woman can fix neither of those things no matter how hard she may try...her job is to be your helpmate. God does the rest...we must look at women differently and stop projecting how we look at ourselves onto them. This seems too much, but honesty can get that way sometimes but it is neccessary. You are a man of God first and foremost. Your definition is in Christ, your way of life is adapted to his way of life. We as men are forever seeking his way, the bible says in Proverbs 18:22 "He who finds a ^(A)wife finds a good thing
         And ^(B)obtains favor from the LORD." When you find Christ, he leads you to the wife, and the favor comes from the Lord. I admonish myself and all of you men if you are dating someone, to change your view of her if it is not good, to learn (if you choose to) from the biblical standpoint how to LOVE her. If you are convinced(through prayer and obedience to God) that this is the one that God has given as a candidate for a wife, than you need to understand what it means to be a man of God first. It is important to know that if she has found a husband in you, that its important even more now to look to God for all things (if you haven't been already). You must know that with or without her God completes you and never put her or anything in front of him. Tomorrow is too late to begin, but right now is just as good as any other. God Bless you my brothers..and remember God didn't forget about you either...Thanks for reading and stay tuned for part 4...

Christian Dating Part 2: The Value of our Women.

The blogging on Christian Dating continues with part 2 dealing with the understanding of our women. I hope more brothers read this than sisters because I believe that when we can understand how to truly LOVE our women we can  truly learn how to effectively relate and experience healthy relationships with them. Again I am not the expert, these are things my pastor and my brother and friends have said and I have been impacted vastly by them that I feel compelled to write this. Thank you for reading.


"An excellent who can find? For her worth is far above jewels"-Proverbs 31:10. Being 25 I have come into the knowledge of this fact. Loving a woman is knowing her heart first. Women you should know that that fact is the only thing that matters. A man can shower you with gifts, even tell you how much you mean to him everyday but his actions must show that fact. So many of you beautiful creatures have the greatest worth not because of your body but just because of your creation. "Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; ^(S)I will make him a helper ^[a]suitable for him."-Genesis 2:18. Look your not beneath a man, your his equal, his helper, a companion. God saw the lonliness that Adam had an created a friend (first!!!) that could help him and be of good company. That fact is the foundation of any relationship you have that will last. He must first see you as his equal (no matter your past, or previous mistakes). Far too often, some of you will tolerate a man who doesent talk to you, he does not value you, and most of all does not accept your love and help. You have to be looking at that when you are with him. You all by yourself was valuable before he stepped into the picture, do not allow him to take you down to his level if he desires to stay in the pit. Being alone is better then be cooped up with someone who is going no where and admitts to it. Sorry if this throws salt on the brothers with the player cars but the reality is men, that our women are Gods children too. My oldest brother once told me "you know most people dont seem to notice that its our women who truly have a past" The world looks past a man who has been wild and crazy, but a women who has been wild and crazy catches hell. I submitt to you woemn, no matter what you used to do, never allow a man to keep you bound in that. As a man if you truly value her as Proverbs 31:10 says, it kills you to let her go back to that place, my pastor told me easter sunday this year to my face(looking me straight in the eye) "you have to protect a women's heart when you are dating her, even if that means protecting her from herself" What does that mean? It means if her past has taught her habits that she see's as normal but you know God doesent you Love her so much that won't let her do them or around you. I don't care how much you LOVE if he won't value you then he will not LOVE you the way a man is supposed to. If I don'tvalue  you while you are my girlfriend than I ceartainly will not value you as my wife. Sex is the tool used to de-value the most. Outside of marriage, you see it all the time, men get what they want from you, and the walk away. (now this is not all cases) but the reality is and I have seen it for myself, when sex is taken out of the picture there is time to grow closer to Christ, and discover the true beauty of the women. That is the goal here when we are talking about Christian dating. Seeing your heart as the prize and "other things". I'm not saying you wont slip(im not encouraging it either) because lets face it you were made to be attracted to each other, but the relationship grows more when you can say to yourself as beautiful woman, I know I am more than just that. Men understand this fact, the more we use our women for just the bedroom the worst things get. Looking at today, we see our women heart, bruised, by it so much that they have become numb, and just dont care anymore. "I've been hurt enough times, if I get hurt again it's just another guy who hurt me" Understand that this woman is someone's daughter, and God willing she will be someone's mother. My pastor also said to me on that same day "God-forbid that the relationship does not work, our job as men is to return them to their parents better than they came". he is to be after your heart my dear ladies. Your beauty is radiant and captivating, but your heart mesmorizing. If he is in LOVE with God, he will see you through God's eyes. This may even upset some women because you maybe comfortable with it just the way it is, I promise you when you see the change in how he talks to you, looks at you, deals with you, approaches you it will make all the difference. Loving with a pure heart, simply means no matter who you were before you were with him, it does not matter!  1 Peter 3:3-4 says this "Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses;
 ⁴but let it be ^(E)the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God."  If what is precious to God is on the inside men, than shouldnt it be the same for you if you LOVE God. As a young man I did not care at all my heart wanted to lust so I lusted, but today as a 25 yr old, in Love, trying to maintain God's love for a beautiful woman, I cannot bear the thought of mishandling or abusing the heart of a good woman. Women this is the key right here, if he is after your heart he will never want you to be anything less than great. The man who not only tells you he values you but shows you is the man to consider for life. Age has nothing to do with it, My brother was 23 (i believe) when he was married, and to this day I have never seen someone cherish his wife like he does. Even before they were married she was queen to him, and showed her that continually. This what it is and has to be while DATING, because then it will be nothing new when your married. IF your planning to marry this man, than it needs to be a key component now. Even if you like the way it is now, it can be better and needs to be. I promise you understanding this my brothers opens up a new way of thought for LOVING our women....Consider this...God created us all, if we are created in his image (perfect image) then why being created by a perfect creator deal with someone who would take you to anything less than God's standard...its something to grow to...

Stay tuned for part 3! (pardon the spelling and grammar today, i was in a hurry to finish this.)

Eliminating the fiction, Understanding the fact and Knowing The difference

 This is a 4 part series dealing dispelling myths and understanding facts about life from a Christian perspective. Part 1 deals with the whole point of dating and understanding it from a Christian perspective.

Part 1: Christians and Dating.


As a 25 year old I know my knowledge is not vast on this subject of Christians and dating, but my pastor, and my brother (both two preachers I see as being increasingly wise) and the bible itself have given me so much insight. I will say that I am not the bearer of knowledge on this subject I am merely trying to provide a different viewpoint. This is not to be controversial or offensive its merely meant to provide a different look at the subject. If you see something that I have written as being wrong or you want to question it please feel free to leave a comment but remember this is not a war or a fight so if thats your motive its best you keep it to yourself because there is no need for that. I understand that everyone does not agree on the same thing but agreeing to disagree is equally as acceptable. Thanks.

Jesse Flowers wrote in an article entitled "whom should we date?" this quote " Dating is what leads a young person to the divine institution of marriage. This quote for me is the focus of this whole blog. I know this is a tough thing to wrap our heads around but honestly the point of dating (crazy as it may seem) is to end up finding a spouse. Now, in 1 Corinthians 7:1-2 Paul writes " ¹Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is ^(A)good for a man not to touch a woman.
 ²But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband." The idea is if you know want to be with someone the idea is to get married in order for you not to fall into immortality, it is better to be married than to live in sin. What Ive noticed in alot of Christian peers is that some of them just don't date like that because they want to avoid the trouble and the potential slips. I had a friend during my freshman year of college who didn't date a single girl until our senior year and the one he dated is now his wife. He was poked fun of for it, but his faith in Christ led him to her, he was with her barely a year before proposing and married about 6  months later. When your motive in dating is right you generally flock towards the right people and don't have to deal with the unnecessary drama. How do you mean? Well lets talk about motives? David said it like this "create in me a clean heart, and renew within me a right spirit." (Psalms 51:10). If inside your heart you have bad intentions then your motive is already not right...Jesus made that clear in Matthew 15:19 where he said "For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies". So if in your heart deep down you know your dating just to have "fun" the question is what kind of fun? Speaking from a young persons perspective, in the present day, dating is a tool that can be used negatively or positively. In a negative way, its most common that the majority(but not all) have stories about someone they dated that was everything that they knew even then that they did not need or probrably even want but they did for what reason? To see what it was like and more importantly to REBEL. Sometimes we just want a story to tell, and to look like we got some life experience. The sad part is usually your the one who gets hurt or left behind because you've allowed yourself to go deeper and deeper in with this person that you don't even know who you are anymore. That can be eliminated easily, by learning to just as my mom would say "get somewhere and sit down". Being young doesent mean I get to ruin my life, I promise when you do that, and you meet the one you do love and cherish you will wish you saved all that time and for them. Its so dangerous spiritually and physically. Now on a lighter note, it can be used positively to navigate (with Christ) to  a good candidate for marriage. If your not planning on getting married then what is the point in dating? (know that there is a difference between making friends and dating.) The reality is that dating is not a bad thing, if I follow God's plan and I know this person is lining up with Godly characteristics and loves Jesus I'm safe. The idea is that when I used dating the right way I am eliminating month's maybe even years of strife in my life. IF you know the person is not a candidate than don't even waist your time trying to make it happen. My pastor told me once "it is somethings I can put up with, and something I cant". The idea is saved or unsaved if there is no desire to compromise on both sides  for the better than this is not a candidate.
             Dating is not a settling tool. Do not settle on someone simply for convenience. From personal experience I have learned that just because a person is there does not mean they will work.  Remember we said dating is to marry. So if you choose to marry this person than it is forever, never settle for something your ashamed to take home to mom and dad. If your hiding this person or simply ashamed of this person why are you with them? Sometimes it can be nervewrecking and fearful because you want good impressions and that scenario is different, but when your doing this because your ashamed or you know your parents would not approve than its time to be honest with self. The real question is Does God approve? Is this person going to help you get closer to Christ? Is this person willing to pursue Godly wisdom with you? Proverbs 4:7 " The beginning of wisdom is: ^(B)Acquire wisdom;
         And with all your acquiring, get understanding." I mean this a checklist for Christian dating.
 Your not with this person to pass time, your with this person because you believe this person is someone who is a candidate for marriage. It does not guarantee that, but that is the right motive to have.  My brother being a minister occasionally does marriage counseling, in doing that I often pick his mind about it, one of the things he tells me all the time is " you hope that you marry her, but you don't know. All you can do is walk it out, if she hangs in there, than there you go". Understand this beloved, your not dating a person simply on looks, economical status, height, weight, those are matters that if you focus on too much will lead you on a downward spiral. Those things matter, but what matters more in spirtual saftey. A husband must be in line with God, so women if you marry a man that is dead set on not being in line with God remember that. Men if she don't love Jesus, dont read her bible, dont want to go to church and you sit there and make  yourself ok with that, remember that. This is not to say that the marriage won't work but it will be tougher than a marriage already is. What we need to look for is someone who is going to Love God, so that they can learn from Him how to love.
   Now sometimes in dating you may have couples that start out going away from God, and then decide to walk together with him and turn away from those old ways and the relationship turns out great. I believe God can do all of those things, if your in a relationship with someone and yall know its some things happening that are not too Godly, then make that change. If its mutal between yall, turn your hearts (individually) back to God. My brother told me once "when you both are walking individually closer to God, it brings you both collectively closer together" The key is God wants glory in everything we do, YES that means dating!!! To qualify that Proverbs 3:5-7 "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not to thine own understanding, in all thy ways acknowledge him and he will direct thy path." Key part " IN ALL THY WAYS ACKNOWLEDGE HIM". If your single, acknowledge him, and he will direct your path. In all cases make God your  first priority and just live you life  and you will find that the significant other will just come along, you wont have to work to hard to find it. The key part of this blog is eliminating those lies told through TV and media. Dating is not 1-2-3 and its done. For the believer it takes work, time, and more importantly God. Understanding that fact helps you know the difference between the two. Know that God is on our side, he wants the best in us, and for us. Time maybe moving fast, but we don't have to rush. John Legend said it best "Take it slow..."
....Stay tuned for Part 2.