He Say, She Say

Marriage is truly the most beautiful thing in the world, its where new life begins, family lineages continue, most importantly it is the snap shot picture of Christ love for the church. The union of Man and Woman is one of God's greatest gifts to mankind. But getting to marriage is the part that no one likes to talk about. LOVE (the way God intended it to be) is the glue that holds it together. How do we know this? Well because of Christ LOVE for the church we gained eternal life, it was the love for the church that caused him to have compassion and lay down his life for the entire world. If marriage is a snap shot picture of that then thats the GLUE that holds it together. LOVING is more than I paid for dinner, or I cooked, or I cleaned, or helped you pay a bill, that is good way of showing love but its also I accept you even though I dont always like your atttitude, or I accept you even though you have some ways about you that get on my last nerve. More importantly when you do things that hurt my feelings I still love you (agape-unconditionally). Love for believers is not based off of looks, nifty little things you can do rather it is soley based on the person. Even though you make me mad sometimes, you always put up with me, you help me when I wont help myself, you encourage me, you talk to me late at night until you fall asleep, you include me in your life, you do what a spouse should do  you have my back! If your not married well sex should not even be an issue(just a disclaimer). 1 Corinthians 13:5 "Love does not take into account wrong suffered". Simply means that all the stuff you did that was wrong towards me I cant use that against you. I have to let it go and move on. The road to marriage is a hard one and requires God's hand the whole way. One of the reasons we date is to so that we can make decisions about the person we are with. If this person is someone you just cannot deal with, they are just too much for you, then you walk away, so your not waisting anyone elses time. The key is to know that you can change no one, the negative things in people are part of who they are, its God who makes the change and  uses it for his glory. When you try to change that person it creates friction. When God makes change it happens naturally in accordance with his will. So the thing is learning to accept those flaws, that doesent mean it stays the same but you accept it and no longer use it against that perosn. If this is a Godly relationship commited to God's ways and commands, then both parties are equally vested in growing in him. So as your growing in God the old things come off and the new's things take root. Change takes time and patience and TRUST in God. If you believe the person your with is indeed the one he has for you to marry than your trusting in him the whole time  for that person and the growth with that person. MEN! We cant be so sensitive all the time, because we know women love talking especially to us about life in general, somethings they say can seem mean or just rude, but 9 times out of 10 they are just talking. Women are going to be honest with us about little things, how we dress, our hair if its not cut, when we picking up weight, sometimes thats just caring and you gotta not be so quick to get mad and go off. 1 Peter 3:7 says this "^7(A)You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with ^(B)someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered."  What we struggle the most with men is understanding. Understanding her point of view is crucial, listening to the need she may have, or just understanding that she does not think like you and is not you, so what you get mad about she may not get mad about. The key is to understand that you are two different people coming together to be one. Before you can be one there has to be an understanding of each other's ways and learning to accept them in spite of those ways. When you learn to put your pride aside and accept her for her it will take stress and frustration out of your life. Women!! society makes women seem like they have to be everything the man wants and if she is not then she is no prize..but 1 Peter 3:1-4 says something vastly different. " ^1(A)In the same way, you wives, ^(B)be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be ^(C)won without a word by the behavior of their wives,
 ²as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.
 ^3(D)Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses;
 ⁴but let it be ^(E)the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God." The key verses here are 3 and 4. Talking about her inner beauty and outer. The inner is most precious because it is the prize that only a man truly in Love with God first can capture because God will lead him. Beloved women, your beauty is in your wisdom, your nurturing, your insight, your hard work, you ability to stand by yourself without a man. You see God knowing who we are as men gave us a companion that is gentler and softer so that there is a balance. Now more than ever we see women running church's and leaders in church because man wont step up. The beauty in a women is that a gentle soft tongue has more influence than we can imagine. What will calm a man down when he is angry is a woman who has peace, and he will see her and say what am I doing? Sometimes saying nothing as I have seen makes a man have to think and be sensible for himself so he will have to be a man about it. But more importantly the honor in women is pleasing to God, a virtuous women is full of honor and she will not accept anything less than that in a man. You see society created this battle of the sexes between men and women.What we see more commonly these days is that men and women are battling with each other, like its a  fight to the death. When men become more understanding and also submitt and women do the same as God intends there is peace and harmony. Where there is peace there is rational thinking so as to eliminate  pointless arguments. So before you ask someone to marry you men, weigh your options and see if this is  really what you want, before you say yes women do the same but above all if this person does not want Christ or be yoked to someone who has Christ than you have your answer. If you truly LOVE the way God wants it to be, then I heard a friend P.T. Ngwolo say "you sacrifice the best in you, for the worst in another person".  At Ebenezer Praise and Worship Church they said it like this " you dont marry the person you love, you love the person you marry" (big difference). Maybe this gave new hope to a relationship on its last wheel, or maybe it gave insight on someone getting ready to make a huge mistake. All in all motives have to be right, and Godly LOVE has to be the glue! Fall in Love with Jesus first, and the rest is done. Just talkin...

Its your skin so live in it.

The quest is on to make it, I mean its hard enough to keep/find a job in a society that glorifies riches and power. Then you have to find a career and be succesful at that task, provide for yourself (and hopefully a family). It seems there is pressure on top of pressure. On top of everything else you have to figure out how to be you. The idenity crisis right. Even the most seemingly confident person struggles with comfortability with themselves. Why is it a struggle? Its driven by fear that who I am doesent meet the status quo. Wondering how can I make myself the best person that will appeal to the masses with out compromising too much of my beliefs and values? The answer is that its dang near impossible ( in my opinion) Part of God's innovation in our creation was that he made us so alike but in each of us he added one small thing and its that one thing makes the BIGGEST difference. He tells us explicitly "be ye not conformed to the ways of this world rather be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind"(Romans 12:2). Who you are  is not measured by your acceptance rate in the world. Dont get it twisted we all follow trends in order to "keep up with the jones" but the idea is who I am is not compromised at all. The comfort in your own skin is the major issue. Sometimes if your not careful you will be so uncomfortable with yourself that you take that frustration out on everyone else. Confidence is an aquired taste that comes with accepting who you are in Christ. If you got a limp, a twitch, a studder problem, you take longer to process stuff, or whatever it maybe..coming to grips with that and accepting those things gives you the needed confidence to walk in and be around people without worrying about what the other person may think. No one can fix that for you. God gave the remedy in Romans 12:2. That scripture is a prescription for healing from low self esteem, fear, lonliness. when your mind is renewed by Christ transforming power you come into the knowledge of who you are and what you really possess. Voids no longer need to be filled with sex, drugs, or people. Rather its filled with Christ. So if your skinny, big, short, tall its all about being comfortable with how he made you. Its tough actually it literally is denying yourself of those negatives that were placed in front of you all your life or the things you began to embrace. To qualifiy that examine Phillipians 4:8 "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." The beauty in a person who who they were created to be because then God's light shines through and that illuminating power is un-deniable. When your comfortable in your skin you dont have anything to prove, you dont mind dealing with all kinds of people, your uncomfortable level in social places seems to decrease, you begin to notice the good in you and others. The room to begin to live life is made easier, after all its your skin so live in it.
-Ecstatic

Intro to life...

I just finished a beasty devotion session, since lately ive been stuck on trying to find LOVE from Christ perspective. I know for a man with my career choice this is the last thing that I should be talking about right? Everybody's trying to grind, make money, and I mean so am I but in general I have had to take closer look at the bible. I feel I am suffering greatly because of my lack persistance on that manual. There are so many people I am surrounded by that I could potentially help if I got my stuff right too. Why am I on this LOVE tip? Because Christ loved us... cliche? Maybe, but its so real and the more I dwell on it the more I see it takes more than just saying I love you. The act of LOVE means so much more and takes so much more. We say we LOVE but when the time comes to prove it its like it is the hardest thing ever. We all are guilty of taking advantage of the perks of love..we assume it will always be there so there is nothing to fear. Here is the reality..everyone dont love, they like to believe they do but their hart is too hard or to scared to do so they are forever entraped in that state. Love is sooooo patient its not even funny. When you love music you gotta be patient with the process required to make it...I mean it can go from frustrating moment to frustrating moment with no breaks. People no less are the same way...you love your mom, dad, brother, sister etc.. but without patience its impossible to deal with or even understand their point of view. Got a significant other that makes it hard for you to love them because of their being set in their ways..well being patient gives you the oppurtunity to understand not neccesarily excuse but understand so that you don't hold it against them. WIthout LOVE we are incapable of achieving harmony between each other. Humans struggle the most with this because we are selfish in nature...we want it now, and then we want it done our way. The intro to life perspective simply says this I KNOW IT IS HARD JUST TO MAKE IT TILL TONIGHT BUT I MUST STRIVE TO SURVIVE IF FOR NOW OTHER REASON THAN SOMEONE ELSE WILL MAKE IF I MAKE IT. MAN MAY LET ME DOWN AND EVEN PUSH ME DOWN BUT NEVERTHELESS I TAKE IT IN STRIDE AND KEEP GOING. My name is Hobdy and this is my blog...