The blogging on Christian Dating continues with part 2 dealing with the understanding of our women. I hope more brothers read this than sisters because I believe that when we can understand how to truly LOVE our women we can truly learn how to effectively relate and experience healthy relationships with them. Again I am not the expert, these are things my pastor and my brother and friends have said and I have been impacted vastly by them that I feel compelled to write this. Thank you for reading.
"An excellent who can find? For her worth is far above jewels"-Proverbs 31:10. Being 25 I have come into the knowledge of this fact. Loving a woman is knowing her heart first. Women you should know that that fact is the only thing that matters. A man can shower you with gifts, even tell you how much you mean to him everyday but his actions must show that fact. So many of you beautiful creatures have the greatest worth not because of your body but just because of your creation. "Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; (S)I will make him a helper [a]suitable for him."-Genesis 2:18. Look your not beneath a man, your his equal, his helper, a companion. God saw the lonliness that Adam had an created a friend (first!!!) that could help him and be of good company. That fact is the foundation of any relationship you have that will last. He must first see you as his equal (no matter your past, or previous mistakes). Far too often, some of you will tolerate a man who doesent talk to you, he does not value you, and most of all does not accept your love and help. You have to be looking at that when you are with him. You all by yourself was valuable before he stepped into the picture, do not allow him to take you down to his level if he desires to stay in the pit. Being alone is better then be cooped up with someone who is going no where and admitts to it. Sorry if this throws salt on the brothers with the player cars but the reality is men, that our women are Gods children too. My oldest brother once told me "you know most people dont seem to notice that its our women who truly have a past" The world looks past a man who has been wild and crazy, but a women who has been wild and crazy catches hell. I submitt to you woemn, no matter what you used to do, never allow a man to keep you bound in that. As a man if you truly value her as Proverbs 31:10 says, it kills you to let her go back to that place, my pastor told me easter sunday this year to my face(looking me straight in the eye) "you have to protect a women's heart when you are dating her, even if that means protecting her from herself" What does that mean? It means if her past has taught her habits that she see's as normal but you know God doesent you Love her so much that won't let her do them or around you. I don't care how much you LOVE if he won't value you then he will not LOVE you the way a man is supposed to. If I don'tvalue you while you are my girlfriend than I ceartainly will not value you as my wife. Sex is the tool used to de-value the most. Outside of marriage, you see it all the time, men get what they want from you, and the walk away. (now this is not all cases) but the reality is and I have seen it for myself, when sex is taken out of the picture there is time to grow closer to Christ, and discover the true beauty of the women. That is the goal here when we are talking about Christian dating. Seeing your heart as the prize and "other things". I'm not saying you wont slip(im not encouraging it either) because lets face it you were made to be attracted to each other, but the relationship grows more when you can say to yourself as beautiful woman, I know I am more than just that. Men understand this fact, the more we use our women for just the bedroom the worst things get. Looking at today, we see our women heart, bruised, by it so much that they have become numb, and just dont care anymore. "I've been hurt enough times, if I get hurt again it's just another guy who hurt me" Understand that this woman is someone's daughter, and God willing she will be someone's mother. My pastor also said to me on that same day "God-forbid that the relationship does not work, our job as men is to return them to their parents better than they came". he is to be after your heart my dear ladies. Your beauty is radiant and captivating, but your heart mesmorizing. If he is in LOVE with God, he will see you through God's eyes. This may even upset some women because you maybe comfortable with it just the way it is, I promise you when you see the change in how he talks to you, looks at you, deals with you, approaches you it will make all the difference. Loving with a pure heart, simply means no matter who you were before you were with him, it does not matter! 1 Peter 3:3-4 says this "Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses;
4but let it be (E)the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God." If what is precious to God is on the inside men, than shouldnt it be the same for you if you LOVE God. As a young man I did not care at all my heart wanted to lust so I lusted, but today as a 25 yr old, in Love, trying to maintain God's love for a beautiful woman, I cannot bear the thought of mishandling or abusing the heart of a good woman. Women this is the key right here, if he is after your heart he will never want you to be anything less than great. The man who not only tells you he values you but shows you is the man to consider for life. Age has nothing to do with it, My brother was 23 (i believe) when he was married, and to this day I have never seen someone cherish his wife like he does. Even before they were married she was queen to him, and showed her that continually. This what it is and has to be while DATING, because then it will be nothing new when your married. IF your planning to marry this man, than it needs to be a key component now. Even if you like the way it is now, it can be better and needs to be. I promise you understanding this my brothers opens up a new way of thought for LOVING our women....Consider this...God created us all, if we are created in his image (perfect image) then why being created by a perfect creator deal with someone who would take you to anything less than God's standard...its something to grow to...
Stay tuned for part 3! (pardon the spelling and grammar today, i was in a hurry to finish this.)
Love it!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteGreat, great blog.
ReplyDelete